Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Pick up your head, it's ringing.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Sip wine. Swallow. Inhale. Exhale...and so on...

When I finally stopped moving and turned off the TV and the dishwasher came to a halt and Hannah stopped crying and Benson went into a different room to nom his bone, I realized my ears were ringing.

I stayed home from work today because Hannah spent the entire night coughing [yes, because she is the fruit of my loins, she is always ill. As you know, I'm a lemon. That would make her one half lemon (me) and one half ADHD Native American (Jason). It's an unusual combination, but it works]. I was foolish and thought I could attempt to work from home with Hannah here. HHHHHHAAAAAAA (breathy old man laugh). Dumb. I was able to call into a couple of conference calls, answer several emails one-handed, and power through a few tasks. Somewhere around 3:30 p.m. I resigned and vowed to pick it back up tonight. I actually lasted longer than I thought I would.

My work day started with a call into the help desk. I forgot my computer login and email password. I've had it for over a month, and yet today I absolutely could not remember it. It's fourteen hours later and I still don't have a clue what it could have been. That felt neat calling the help desk and telling them that it has simply slipped my mind, no explanation.

I keep the TV on when I'm working from home for background noise. For one, it helps me pretend that I have adults around. For two, it prevents Benson from hearing outside noises and barking. I would rather endure a low volume work soundtrack of sixteen year-olds in labor on Teen Mom than deal with a barking Benson. Finally, I look for a good concert to listen to on the channel Palladia.

Today, the only option on Palladia was some terrible Mariah Carey concert. I opted for the kids in labor, but I saw a preview for a rowdy metal show and I got to thinking that at that very moment I felt like a concert goer sitting in the "good" seats at a Slayer show and even though I had waited all my life for this show I suddenly forgot all the words to the songs and I had a deep urge for the concert to pipe down. Have you ever felt like you were screaming in an empty room and nobody could hear you? This was kind of like that, only the complete opposite. I felt like I was trying to find peace at a death metal show.

I think I've lost my mind a little and I'm pretty sure I left it at Mercy Hospital next to a pile of crinkled umbilical cord and an unflattering pair of mesh underwear. Other things I've lost of late: my debit card, my checkbook, a large platter for the Thanksgiving turkey, my iPod, my car in several parking lots, a coffee mug possibly containing coffee, my work email/computer login password, my recollection of things I've recently typed/said or stories I've told, and probably some other things I can't remember that I've lost.

Heaven help me.

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