Reverse turtle shell stomach

So I've been having these Braxton Hicks contractions over the past couple of months, but lately they have gotten a bit more frequent and a bit more intense. I like the fact that they are named after a male, John Braxton Hicks. If John actually had a clue what they felt like, I think he would have chosen a more colorful label for these bad boys. Here's what I would have suggested to ol' John if I had been around in 1872 to do so:

• Reverse turtle shell stomach
• Belly helmet
• Superhero abs sans muscles
• Candy coated baby cover
• Instant armor gut
• Preggo on the half shell

That would make a lot more sense.

You can't see the contractions from the outside, but if they were visible they would look like this in the stomach spot:

This dude is having a full body contraction