|It was kinda like this.|
I'm breaking out my clubs, and ending my golf retirement. Whoa.
The last time I golfed was a special time. I was pregnant with Hannah, and I was really freaking hungry. A group of us had gone to play a round at the local par 3. I couldn't have cared less about how I was performing - it had been a long day and mama was ready for a burrito.
We approached the 18th hole and I muttered something about - this better be fast. And it was. It was as fast as a hole could go.
I hit the ball - very poorly, I might add - and it shot down and diagonally across the green. It hit the edge of a bunker. It rolled up and a little northeastern toward the hole. I hear Jason say, "Holy crap, that's gonna be close!"
No, no, no, sir. Not close. IN.
"HOLE IN ONE!"
I threw my club in the air and everyone jumped and yelled. Someone hi-fived me. I think it may have been Jesus because this was a freaking miracle.
We yelled and screamed and I hurried up into the clubhouse because I was seriously starving by now. They took my picture for their "hole in one" wall. Some sucker at the bar made a comment about how I am supposed to buy everyone a round (look, dude, if mama can't drink, ain't nobody drinking). Then I went to Chevy's Fresh Mexican and had myself a burrito. Dang good!
So, that was well over two years ago, and I have been busy managing my procreation and haven't hit the greens since. But, today, my dear sister-in-law invited me to participate in a fundraising golf tournament, and I obliged. Since the last time I played I have put on 30 lbs, made a human, and herniated a disc in my spine, so here's hoping this is mostly painless. I'm not shooting for any holes-in-one, but in the rare case it does happen, I will head out for another celebratory burrito and definitely hang up the clubs for good. It doesn't get much better than that.