OMG

"OMG!"

That's a phrase I've been hearing a lot lately, both out of the mouths of others and amidst my inner dialogue. When someone greets you with "OMG," it's not always a good thing. And in my case, it's because I look like this:

30 weeks, OMG face

Typically, when someone says "OMG" to me these days, it's followed by something along the lines of:

• "You have how many more weeks to go?!?!"
• "You look like you're about to explode."
• "Any minute now, right?"
• "You sooooo biiiiiiig!" <-- from the mouth of a random Hong's Jewelry employee, whilst rubbing my stomach like a genie lamp and telling me I must be having a boy because I'm so big
• "I can't believe how close you are!"
• "Are you ready for labor? It hurts, but you look like you're in pain already."

When I say "OMG" to myself, it's often for one of these reasons:

• My maternity pants are too tight.
• I just walked upstairs and I can't breathe.
• Something reminded me that the baby still has to come out.
• I saw a picture of myself.
• The alarm is waking me up for work and I realize I saw every hour through the night.
• Lifting myself into my Honda Pilot has become complicated and kind of dangerous.

Hannah is probably saying the same phrase to herself, wondering where all that womb room went. She is no longer my little plum, able to swim the backstroke in her sweet fallopian utopia. Nope. She's a cramped head of lettuce sized 18" 3.2 lb baby girl. She probably wants out just as badly as I want her out.