Dear Hannah

My sweet Hannah,
This has nothing to do with you. I do not want you hearing or reading about my battles with postpartum issues someday and thinking that you are in any way related or at fault. You are the glory that makes the war worth fighting. Every second I suffer, I find strength when I look at your precious tiny hands, your magnificent blue eyes, your smile that extends beyond your lips and lights up your whole face, your peculiarly over-sized feet ("skis" as we call them), and your sound that I want to record and play back eternally. You, your father, our family, our friends, and God's plans for us are worth fighting for. Just because you and I made it through your first terrible struggle coming into this world together does not mean that you are related to the fact that I continue to struggle as my body recovers. I do not regret for one minute the fact that I had to bring you into this world under frightening conditions because the end result was the sweetest gift: you, my baby. I am honored that I was chosen by God to raise you and watch you grow. My heart hurts that you will endure hardships someday, just as my mother's heart aches now as she watches me in my fight. Like my mother does for me, I will help, shelter, and protect you with every ounce of my ability. You and I are intertwined infinitely and that makes me the luckiest mother ever.
With all my heart,
Your mama