Damn it

Unfortunately I've slid again. I've seen some signs that I've been a little more moody and anxious over the past week, but I officially hit the bottom again as of yesterday. Coincidentally I had my appointment scheduled with my psychiatrist today so we talked and he's made some medicine tweaks and wants me to go to an outpatient program but I haven't decided if I can shake the anxiety enough to go. The good news about the program is I see a doctor every day. The bad news is you have to sit through group therapy, and I don't know if I can do that. This time the burning isn't as bad - it's more localized to particular parts of my body. But the depression and fatigue are the worst. Yesterday was the 4th of July and I didn't get out of my pajamas. I had to miss work today because of this and I spent today at my mom's house so I wasn't alone since Jason had to go to work. I pray this passes quickly like it did last time a few weeks ago when it only lasted 5 days.