Friday, August 24, 2012

Wishes to start off the weekend

It's Friiiiday, beoches! Holler.
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Alright, here we go:
  • I wish my name was Mud because I think Mud Rutherford has a nice ring.
  • I wish I owned a throat punch monkey (a monkey that I can tell to throat punch people when they're actin' a fool).
  • I wish No Doubt never would have written the song Hey Baby.
  • I wish I liked to run.
  • I wish I could complete a sent
  • I wish politicians couldn't lie.
  • I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her...
  • I wish people would proofread their writing.
  • I wish I had a boat. And an ocean. And 80 degree weather.
  • I wish Tim Daggett would narrate my life.
  • I wish I could still sit down in front of a dollhouse and make new worlds happen.
  • I wish my dog could talk.
  • I wish I could turn into a mermaid when I hit the water. Except the shower. That could get dangerous.
  • I wish Rosie O'Donnell had a mute button.
  • I wish I could afford to dress like my true fashion sense tells me to.
  • I wish I had the patience to practice my guitar.
  • I wish I had a fish named Barnacle.
  • I wish I could erase mental illness.
  • I wish I knew how to cook really well. I'm only good at eating.
  • I wish I had the ability to allow kids to bypass the puberty years because those are the worst.
  • I wish I knew what Freud was thinking.
  • I wish I would have appreciated my figure more when I was in high school instead of always envying someone else's.
  • I wish I lived on a vineyard.
  • I wish life had a pause button so I could have slowed a few days down.
  • I wish I didn't sweat when I was nervous.
  • I wish I could apologize to anyone I picked on when I was a young asshole.
  • I wish I knew why yawns are contagious.
  • I wish guns were never invented.
  • I wish I had a British accent and the ability to speak French.
  • I wish it all made sense. But it's probably more fun that it doesn't.
(Miles: 6/365)

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