Wednesday, November 23, 2011

MISSING: Belly button and normal human body

Pregnant bodies are weird.

I started off feeling sick...nauseous, fatigued, crampy, puny. Then a few weeks later, I was energetic and hungry, but the glory of leg cramps, sciatic nerve issues, and backaches kicked into high gear, making it hard to be mobile. In fact, one night I was rocked out of a deep sleep by an insane charlie horse in my right leg. I got the calf muscle to stop balling up but the pain in my leg crippled me for three days. Yes, I ate bananas. About 7 of them.

The other thing about my body that's weird is my belly button. It has officially disappeared. Nope, not an outie yet. Just flat space where a crater used to exist. And the adorable mole that used to do it's Cindy Crawford thing next to my button has now enlarged and headed west.

Adios, b.button
Additional pregnant body weirdnesses include super long talons (great for aesthetic reasons, bad for guitar playing), extra sensitive sniffer (good for cake, bad for dog butts), and hair that sheds easily because I'm anemic (good for bathroom floor tumbleweeds if you're into that, bad for already fine hair). Otherwise, glowing.

The best part of having a pregnant body? Hannah calamity. Baby girl is pretty good about letting me know she's there these days. I wouldn't trade that feeling for a fully functioning set of legs.

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